When deciding on how to separate kids for youth sports teams, a decision must be made whether to include all kids and separate them equally (parity), or to divide kids based solely on talent (i.e. an “A” and “B” team). Interestingly, these decisions are being made earlier and earlier these days, with it now being commonplace to see kids divided by talent as early as elementary school — and well before growth spurts and puberty. Professionally speaking, there is more research illustrating the human development and mental health benefits for including all kids, compared to catering to just a few select kids that may have happened to mature early. Still, there are some parents who really worry that without kids being separated based on talent that their advanced kid will see his or her potential stagnate, or worse yet, lead to quitting sports prematurely out of frustration. This week I will delve into those worries with what really plays out when kids are included and everyone gets to play together.
Parent worries vs realities
Listed below are common concerns I hear from parents, followed by what I have directly observed having worked with thousands of student athletes, coaches, teams, and entire leagues:
- Including lesser kids will negatively impact my child’s experience, including potential athletic growth. First, it is important to note that while you might think your child is head and heels above everyone else, more objective coaches and sport experts would likely tell you that the differences at early ages are not usually as pronounced as you might think. Sure, some kids throw faster, kick farther, and move quicker than others, but generally speaking these are usually subtle differences that tend to even out as other kids (currently behind the curve) eventually catch up. So no, your child won’t be delayed, and in fact your child may actually “grow” in emotional ways when leading kids on the team (including the less talented) to play their best.
- Are there risks signing my kid up only for elite teams? The short answer is yes, there are risks, and these risks almost always center around youth sport burnout and increased chance for physical injuries. Take it from someone who treats burned out athletes daily, playing a lot of youth sports to the point where it feels like a job to kids will leave them very vulnerable to burnout. Additionally, when kids overuse muscles not yet fully developed they run a high risk for physical injury, leaving them to rehabilitate and overcome the mental challenges that accompany sports injury recovery (i.e. isolation, loss of identity, etc).
- Will my kid miss out on a college athletic scholarship. This is very unlikely for a couple reasons. First, less than 5% of all high school athletes will earn an athletic scholarship (and many of those are partial, not full, scholarships), meaning these scholarships are incredibly rare to begin with, and second, kids who are athletically talented enough to earn scholarship money are almost always noticed! Believe me, if your child has what it takes, the local high school, club coaches, and possibly even college coaches already have him or her on their radars.
- Won’t the lesser skilled kids bog us down? No, they won’t. Most lesser skilled kids tend to advance quickly as they learn the sport and develop self-confidence, resulting in better skills in relatively short time. For the kids who do not improve athletically, these kids almost always deselect on their own as not many kids want to hang on a sports team where they don’t play much or experience any success.
Final thoughts
While a lot of parents tend to worry about their star athlete being slowed by lesser talented kids, perhaps the better thing to do is to view the youth sport experience through the eyes of that lesser talented kid. Instead of thinking of your potential loss, try and think how it must feel to physically grow a little slower than your peer group, or take a little longer learning a sport, only to be made to feel as though you aren’t good and only bring your team down. Many of the parents I have spoken to over the years overly-worry about the damage being (potentially) done to their talented kid, while completely disregarding the feelings of the kids being weened out of sports even before they have hit middle school! Kids want play sports, enjoy friends, and be a part of a team, and they should be given that opportunity at every turn as all kids can use sport participation to learn life skills, and parlay those skills toward overall life happiness and success.
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