Write your search in the input below and press enter.
Esc to close.

The Sports Doc Chalk Talk with Dr. Chris Stankovich

Peak Performance:
Not Just for Sports, for Life

  • Products
    • Toolkits
    • Audio
    • Videos
    • Books
    • Apps
  • Services
  • Chalk Talk
    • Recent
    • Athletes
    • Coaching
    • Sports Parenting
    • Sports Administrators
    • Life
    • Administrators
  • About Dr. Stankovich
  • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Products
    • Toolkits
    • Audio
    • Books
    • Videos
    • Apps
  • Services
  • Chalk Talk
  • About Dr. Stankovich
  • Testimonials
  • Contact

Hello. Sign In

My Account
  • Login
  • Register
0
The Sports Doc Chalk Talk
Subscribe
The Sports Doc Chalk Talk with Dr. Chris Stankovich
  • Recent
  • Athletes
  • Coaching
  • Sports Parenting
  • Life
  • Administrators
Home / Blog / Coaches Don’t Need to Use Intimidation to Get Kids to Play their Best

Coaches Don’t Need to Use Intimidation to Get Kids to Play their Best

By: Dr. Chris Stankovich | @DrStankovich | Jul 21, 2022

No Comments

A bully is defined as one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable.  Coaches who rely on intimidation and insults can be defined as bullies, even if their rationale for bullying kids is to supposedly get them to reach their full potential.  Nobody likes bullying, especially kids who play team sports that constantly worry that they will be the next player singled out by their coach and shamed, made fun of, or forced to complete a humiliating task.  Fortunately, the “bully-coach” model is becoming antiquated, replaced by a contemporary style of coaching that includes respect, building kids up through proper instruction and support, and rewarding kids for effort even when results still lag. 

“But I’m a coach who yells!”

Over the years I have given countless talks on positive coaching, including the importance of developing strong relations with kids by building them up through positive reinforcement, fairness, and respect.  Some coaches, however, have misinterpreted this message by falsely assuming that they can no longer coach with energy, passion, and yes — yelling!  The good news is that when delving deeper into coach-athlete communication, these worried coaches soon learn that they can still coach with emotion, so long as it is encouraging, instructional, and fair.  Check out the following examples how you can turn an intimidating message into a message that is more inspirational:

  • Rather than sarcastically yelling “What the hell is wrong with you?” to a kid who under-performs, instead shout words of encouragement like “Keep working hard and you will get this!!!”
  • Instead of standing on the sidelines arms folded with body language that displays disgust, try instead to stand upright, clap encouragingly, and tell kids “Lets get them next time we are on the field!”
  • Instead of threatening kids that they will lose privileges if they fail to complete a task, try to incentivize them with positive reinforcement by rewarding them when they do reach a goal.

Notice, in all the examples above you can still coach with passion, energy, and animated body language (so long as it is positive and not intimidating).  The reality is most coaches only need to tweak their approach, not overhaul their personality and become a new person.

Is the bully-coach model effective?

Some coaches think the modern day teaching-coach is less effective than old school coaches who use intimidation tactics, but is that really the case?  Before you answer that question, it is important to specify what “effective” means.  If you are only talking wins and losses, it is certainly possible that some coaches can scare and intimidate their kids into playing harder and ultimately winning more games.  But is scaring kids into success really “winning,” especially when there are healthier and more efficient ways to experience success?  Coaches who promote excellence through their positive attitude, role modelling, and encouragement also have success, but their “success” goes far beyond wins and losses and actually has the potential to positively impact kids for many years after the season has ended — and sometimes for the rest of their lives.  So if the bully coach and teacher coach both have the potential to win on the field, but one “wins” through fear and intimidation while the other wins by building strong, caring relationships with kids, what coach would you like to be?

Final thoughts

It is easy to bully kids, and you might even win a few games because kids are so scared to lose they play at a high level.  But is this the way you want to “win?”  If by winning it means that kids are constantly scared, anxious, and intimidated, is that teaching kids healthy life skills through sport participation?  Fortunately, you can coach kids up by using integrity and respect, and you can win games employing this kind of coaching philosophy.  Build kids up through encouragement rather tearing them down through fear, and the results will be a happier, healthier, more successful experience for all.

drstankovich.com

 

coach, communication, kids, positive, psychology, reinforcement

  • Author
  • Comments
  • Details
Get to Know the Author

Dr. Chris Stankovich

Dr. Stankovich has written/co-written five books, including Positive Transitions for Student Athletes, The ParentsPlaybook, Mind of Steel.

Latest Blog Posts

  • May 23, 2023 Breaking Down the Stages of Youth Sports
  • May 16, 2023 Mental Health Tips to Help Kids Avoid Sport Burnout
  • May 10, 2023 Watch for these Issues with Kids Playing Multiple Sports During Same Season
  • May 4, 2023 Understanding the Importance of a Balanced Athletic Identity for Kids
  • April 27, 2023 Turning Hope into Belief: The Psychology of Success

PREVIOUS POST

Improving Youth Sports: Insights from a Former Pro Athlete

NEXT POST

Developing Mental Toughness: Train Your Mind to be Stronger than Your Emotions

Category

Coach , Coaching , Communicating with Coach , Continuing Education , Emotional Intelligence , Evaluating Talent , Habit Change , health psychology , Leadership , Leadership and Role Modeling , mental health , Mental Toughness , Off Field Issues , psychology , Sport Philosophy , Sport Psychology , Sport Sociology , Uncategorized , Youth Sports

Tags

coach, communication, kids, positive, psychology, reinforcement

  • Recent Posts
  • Most Read
  • Breaking Down the Stages of Youth Sports
  • Mental Health Tips to Help Kids Avoid Sport Burnout
  • Watch for these Issues with Kids Playing Multiple Sports During Same Season
  • Understanding the Importance of a Balanced Athletic Identity for Kids
  • Turning Hope into Belief: The Psychology of Success
  • Morning Sports Practice Before School is Becoming the Norm, but is this Healthy for Kids?
  • Nature or Nurture? Exploring the Psychology of Sport Success
  • 3 Important Tips for Today's Multi-Sport, Youth Sport Athlete
  • Understanding Intelligence: Putting Knowledge into ACTION!
  • Breaking Down the Stages of Youth Sports
  • The Sports Doc on TV

    Catch Dr. Stankovich’s tv, radio, and print interviews and columns here!

    Dr. Chris Stankovich Watch Videos
  • Sport Performance Assessment

    Dr. Chris Stankovich Quickly and accurately test your level of mental toughness in just a few minutes using the Sport Performance Assessment.

    (SPA), an easy-to-use sport psychology system specially designed to help you REACH YOUR FULL ATHLETIC POTENTIAL.

    learn more
  • SportsSuccess360

    Life strategies for performance and character development for coaches, parents, and student athletes competing in youth and interscholastic sports.

    Life Strategies learn more
  • Contact Dr. Stankovich

    1395 Grandview Avenue Suite 6, Columbus OH 43212

    (614) 561-4482
    Media & General Inquiries
    information@drstankovich.com
    Sales & Product Support
    sales@drstankovich.com
  • About Dr. Stankovich

    • Media
    • Blog
    • Testimonials
  • Products

    • Toolkits
    • Videos
    • Books
    • Audio
    • iPhone Apps
  • Services

    • Athlete Performance Training
    • Parent Community Forum
    • Coach Education & Development
    • Athletic Crisis Response and Intervention
    • Drug & Alcohol Assessment
    • Life Success Programs
    • Counseling & Consulting Services
  • Blog
  • YouTube
  • twitter
  • facebook

All rights reserved © 2023 Advanced Human Performance Systems™

↓ ↓