An ugly parent baseball-brawl happened earlier this week, resulting in several adult parents getting into fisticuffs over a kids Little League game. Unfortunately, adult fights at youth sporting events are no longer headline news these days, as it has been over ten years now since arguably the most alarming and devastating story took place – the hockey dad fight.
On July 5, 2000, Thomas Junta and Michael Costin engaged in a tussle that eventually left Costin dead, and sent Junta off to prison for 10 years. At the time the story made the national news, as people were left horrified that a man had lost his life over a youth hockey argument. Indeed, this was a very sad watershed moment for youth sports.
Unfortunately, this was not the first or last time adults engaged in physical violence while attending youth sporting events, and we continue to witness stories similar to the Colorado incident seemingly on a regular basis (AHPS). Fortunately, not all adult disputes at games result in physical fights, but even the verbal tirades take away from the overall positive experience youth sports should be for kids.
Fighting has become normal
Whether we like it or not, stories of angry parents lashing out at youth games has become somewhat of a commonplace these days. Similar to how school shootings were at the height of media attention during the Columbine massacre, fights at youth sports used to command great media attention but today barely make the front page. We have become used to the fact that fights happen at games – and that guns are sometimes found in schools – and become desensitized to both (even if we don’t like it).
Think about it for a moment – how many times have you seen that “idiot parent” on the sidelines? How many times have you personally witnessed a verbal barrage on the sidelines that you felt was going to lead to some kind of violence? How many times have you actually witnessed some kind of physical altercation??
If you have been involved in youth sports for awhile I have no doubt you have seen more than you ever bargained for or expected.
Why parents act out
Of course there is no one single reason why some parents decide to verbally/physically assault another adult while attending youth sports, but there are several inter-related factors that contribute to the problems we are seeing.
- “In-the-moment” emotions. Where else do you go from 0-100 on the emotion meter than at a youth sports event? Even the calmest of parents quickly get excited (for better or for worse) when plays develop on the field. The point is that people rarely stay calm, collected, and logical when watching sports, and emotions can go overboard sometimes – especially when the child plays poorly and/or another adult taunts, embarrasses, or belittles the child in front of the parent. The result is often an exchange of words, which can lead to an escalation of physical violence.
- The time, money, and energy parents put into their child’s sports training. Think about how many families today have invested thousands of dollars and enormous amounts of energy toward their child’s athletic experience. With so much going into youth sports, it’s actually quite easy to see why some parents seemingly “lose it” when they witness their child fall far short of their expectations in games. When emotions get out of control, parents are most at-risk for acting out of character (see the first point above).
- Leagues still lagging behind. While it may surprise you to learn this, most youth/interscholastic sports leagues today still do not offer nor require any kind of formal sports training. In some cases the decision to not require training boils down to money, in other cases it’s time, and in other situations its philosophical. One program that has been designed to help leagues quickly attain the minimum level of life skills/contemporary issues in sports training is Sport Success 360.
- Parent violence is not addressed. Most coaches have pre-season meetings with parents, yet many still do not overtly discuss the potential problems that exist when parents do not hold themselves accountable at games. This “elephant in the room” must be identified and discussed if we really want to curtail violence seen at youth spots events.
For more information on how you can help your sports league check out Sport Success 360!
www.drstankovich.com
