In this world of social media character limits and quick sound bytes, it should not be surprising when we hear people completely distill down all the qualities of their identity and personality into a few short words. “I’m an extrovert!” “I’m ADHD!” “I’m bipolar!” The list goes on and on, and latching onto a quick label, description, or quirky characteristic (“I sound like a donkey when I laugh!”) may be not only selling ourselves short to others, but also to ourselves. If we “are what we eat” as we have been told, then maybe we are also what we tell others (and ourselves) what we are — so choose wisely, your mental health may be riding on this decision!
You are not one note, but the entire song…
When you appreciate a great song, it is the totality of listening to the song that impacts your emotional state, and not just one single note within the song. Similarly, your identity and personality should not be narrowed to only one aspect or dimension, but instead include a view of the entire mosaic of who you are as a person. You are far more than just “OCD” or “always late,” but in too many instances today we simply ratchet down to a sound byte of information. Of course, others begin their judgement process of us by what we offer, but even our own self-perception can become skewed if we overly-rely on a simple, canned response when offering our self-description.
So rather than simply assuming since you are “ADHD” that you will never properly focus (and set up a negative self-fulfilling prophecy as a result), why not instead highlight all the really interesting and fun parts of what make you, you? For example, you can recognize that, at times, you have trouble with focus (especially during boring lectures!), but that you are also pretty good with things like communication, loyalty, problem-solving, and resolving conflicts. In fact, just mentioning those things could dovetail into additional questions from the people in your company, allowing you to expand and add nuance to the complexities of your personality. What do you think is a better way to go in terms of improved mental health, directing attention to one single aspect of your personality (that may not even be true), or gently expanding your remarks to include more depth and breadth of your total being?
Final thoughts
When it comes to our mental health, how we see ourselves plays a big part in how well we feel. There are consequences when we sum up our existence into a sound byte, both for our own self-esteem, as well as how others view and interact with us. For example, if you continually call yourself a “scatter-brain,” not only will you begin to take on that persona, but the people around you will begin to see you mostly through that one, single lens as well. This world can be tough enough even on sunny days, make sure to do your part by acknowledging all the parts of you that make you great.
drstankovich.com
