Life can move along very quickly, especially as you watch your children advance through sports. It seems like one day they are playing T-ball, and the next day they are adding a varsity letter to their school jacket. Along this journey, however, are many challenges and issues to address, making it important to have annual sports meetings (at minimum) with your kids to examine their progress, interests, and future goals.
The early years (4-8)
When kids are beginning sports (ages 4-8) it is important to spend time evaluating how much fun they are having and their general interest in the sport(s). It is important to note that simply because a kid is good at a sport does not automatically mean he/she enjoys the sport. In some cases a child’s size provides for distinct advantages on the field, even though the child doesn’t really love playing the sport.
It is also important during the early years to sample various sports throughout the year, being sure to take note of how your son or daughter feels about differences between sports. For example, does he or she like contact sports? Individual or team sports? Indoor or outdoor sports? Sports with a lot of running, or sports with very little running?
Some of the key questions to ask during this age range include:
- Overall amount of fun. Remember, the #1 reason why kids play sports is to have fun, making this the best starting point for sports discussions.
- Types of sports. Individual? Team? Sports with running, rackets, bats, or clubs? Watch for trends develop along the way to help with future planning (for example, if your child expresses that she loves to run, you might consider sports like soccer or basketball).
The middle years (9-12)
During the middle years sports begin to transition from focusing exclusively on fun and gross motor skill development (i.e. simply kicking a ball), to more finesse/precision movements, longer practices, greater intensity, and increased physicality. Some kids choose to quit sports during these years, while others struggle trying to decide on whether they should continue to play the sports they have been playing, sample new sports, or specialize in just one sport.
Below are some key ideas to discuss during these years:
- Commitment. As sports become more serious the commitment levels increase as well. Is your child prepared to prioritize his or her time to the sport?
- Sampling or specialization. Kids today are beginning to specialize (play only one sport) at earlier and earlier ages, but specialization isn’t for every kid. It is important to weigh the pros and cons to specialization and decide what is best for your child.
The older years (13-17)
The last stage of sport development typically occurs around the high school years when sports become more serious, and some kids begin working hard to be noticed by college coaches for a chance at a future athletic scholarship. Parents will still want to check on the previous questions posed at earlier stages (i.e. level of fun, specialization, etc) but also include the following:
- Where do sports factor in to the future. While not every kid wants to play college sports, many do. Parents, therefore, need to examine their child’s level of interest in college sports and gauge whether the child has the talent to potentially play D I, II, or III sports. If the child has the talent and wants to play in college you will want to map out steps that create the best opportunities for the future. On the other hand, if college sports are not an option then you may want to evaluate how your child’s time is best being spent, and if more time should be going toward academic and social activities and experiences.
- Varsity or recreation. For kids who are serious about sports, going the high school varsity route (and possibly travel sports on top of that) probably make the most sense. Other less serious kids, however, may still want to play sports, but do so in a more casual recreation league that focuses more on fun and social experiences than competitive play.
Final thoughts
Regardless of the type of athlete your child is it is important to have annual “check-in” meetings to evaluate the questions posed above. You might not have all the questions lined up perfectly, and that’s OK — what is most important is that you create a warm, open space for your child to speak freely and express his or her true feelings about playing sports.
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