Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito has been suspended by the team for bullying teammate Jonathan Martin, with reports stating that he not only verbally abused and threatened Martin, but also extorted $15,000 from him. This is an interesting psychological case on several levels and prompts a deeper discussion around bullying, hazing, and the type of “prototype” both wanted and expected in the NFL today.
Bullying and hazing have been around sports for as long as we can remember, with countless cases each year being reported by youth, interscholastic, and college athletic teams and programs. Interestingly, there have been few, if any, reports of bullying from the NFL — and the hazing that is typically reported often seems very expected and acceptable (like when veteran players make rookies carry their equipment). Of course, both bullying and hazing can lead to devastating physical and psychological effects, and have prompted a much greater awareness in recent years in order to protect future incidents from occurring.
What might be different in Miami (aside from this being the first time in my memory one teammate has called out another for bullying) is that Richie Incognito has quickly gone from desirable “league tough guy” to undesirable, career-ending troublemaker in one fell swoop. The paradox here is that the NFL loves the prototype of the tough guy, the type of player who fights and scraps at every turn, including kicking, biting, and scratching under the pile of a scrum. Think about it — the NFL isn’t looking for bookworm nerds hanging out in the library — but they love guys who put it all on the line physically and are known for being tough guys.
My comments here are in no way condoning what Incognito did, nor am I downplaying hazing and bullying (in fact, I am a strong advocate against those actions). I am instead saying there is a bit of irony here, and the line between what is desirable versus what could get a guy suspended for life might be thinner than we ever thought. There’s no disputing what Incognito did was dead wrong, but this is also not a black-white situation when it comes to the level of physical and mental toughness wanted in the NFL, versus the level of respect and integrity expected from those same players who are encouraged to play like crazed wild animals.
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For more information on hazing and bullying and what you can do to train the coaches in your leagues about warning signs and how to help, check out “Tough Topics, Practical Solutions” today!
