There are a million reasons why you can’t, but what about the reasons that you can?
Win the game today. Start that new business. Go outside and run a mile. When thinking about these things, there are literally countless excuses that you could come up to as to why these things won’t happen. In fact, it’s remarkably easy to come up with sound reasons of why you can’t, including the other team is really good, new businesses almost always fail, and I get painful shin splints when I run. See how easy that was?! Coming up with reasons to not do something is one of the easiest things in life to do, as making excuses takes very little energy and thought. But what happens when we change the way we view the challenges we face, and instead of quickly coming up with excuses we begin pushing ourselves to come up with all the reasons that we can? This “I can do it” mindset is at the core of individuals with above-average mental toughness, and it is something that all humans can develop.
Change your focus for improved results
One of the earliest, most impressionable therapeutic lessons I learned in graduate school is when a client says he “can’t” do something, not only does he cut off any chance of future success, but he can substitute the word “won’t” do it, as the net result is the same (the goal is not reached). Interestingly, when we substitute the word “won’t” for “can’t,” the entire paradigm changes — now I am no longer helpless, but I am choosing to not even try. Even today at my office I will sometimes challenge clients who say “I can’t” and ask them to instead say “I won’t,” and suddenly things begin to change.
When we change our focus to “I can,” even if we don’t yet know how, we begin to experience an entirely different mindset, one that includes increased confidence, better focus, optimism, and better mental toughness. Obviously there is nothing magical about the word “can,” and goals are not attained by simply voicing out loud that you can do it, but in that very moment of saying can instead of can’t your chances for future success increase dramatically. This one, seemingly simple decision if often the difference between those who do, and those who don’t.
Over time, by employing an I can attitude, problem-solving becomes easier, lofty goals are reached, and the people around you are infected in healthy ways from your positive attitude. Not only do these experiences help you, but they also make the people (team) around you better as well.
Final thoughts
It’s easy to say I can’t do something, as it requires zero effort to quit before even trying. Saying I can do something, comparatively, is a courageous way to begin a new life challenge, as well as a healthier way to go if success is the end goal. Sure, it takes guts to say I can when the challenge looks difficult, but why not give yourself a chance rather than simply shutting off any chance for success by quitting before you even start?
drstankovich.com
