Not a day goes by where I am not involved in a conversation around youth and interscholastic sports, and it is from these conversations that I learn about the most common issues parents experience. For parents who previously played youth sports, they usually have a general awareness of issues like youth sport burnout, playing time, and the odds of their kid one day becoming a pro athlete. But what about parents who never played youth sports, and consequently, do not know the youth sport landscape very well? How do you know where to set expectations with respect to how the coach handles your kid, what safety expectations to have, or even how often your kid is expected to attend practices? This week I discuss some of the basic expectations in youth sports today, and ideas how you can help your child enjoy an optimal experience.
Understanding the basics
While there are changes in youth sports today, there are some things that have remained constant. The list below outlines basic ideas and expectations designed for parents without a sport background and includes both traditional and contemporary concerns:
- Commit to the team. Yes, kids today often sign up for multiple sports/activities at the same time, and this should be a teachable moment for parents. While it is great to experience different things in life, if your child regularly struggles to meet the expectations of each team/club, then he/she may be doing a disservice to each team/club. In fact, in some situations by your child not making a game, it is possible the team may not even have enough kids to play on that day.
- Be on time & prepared. Just like the previous point, it is important to be at the field fully prepared, and a few minutes before the practice/game begins.
- Hustle & have a positive attitude. Encourage your kids to run on and off the field, and always maintain a positive attitude with teammates. Hustle and attitude are things that every kid can control, regardless of athletic potential.
- Support the coach. Most youth sport coaches are volunteers, while school coaches make a small salary but hardly anything commensurate with the amount of time they dedicate to coaching kids. Rather than always questioning every decision, try instead to support the team and work at home with your child so that he or she can play his or her way onto the field.
- Expect that your coach has had a background check, and a basic understanding of sport safety. Youth sport leagues today commonly require a background check, and increasingly more are requiring basic training in safety (i.e. concussions), and even mental health. If your child’s league does not require these things you may want to talk to the league director about how to step up with the times.
- Don’t chase shiny objects (i.e. leagues, equipment, etc). Kids play sports because they have fun! Going after the toughest and most competitive league and/or buying the top name in equipment may not lead to the results you desire. In fact, when kids play way above or way below their abilities, the risk of disinterest and premature quitting can become an unforeseen factor to overcome. Similarly, name brand equipment is nice, but won’t compensate for your child’s lack of practice.
- Understand the realities. Facts matter, and the reality is only about 5% of all high school graduates will go on to play at college — and this number includes walk-ons, partial athletic scholarships, and D3 athletic opportunities (no athletic scholarship money).
Parents who take the time to learn the basics about youth sports help their kids enjoy an optimal experience competing. Conversely, when parents who never played sports do not take the time to understand what is happening today, they run a much greater risk for sport burnout, premature quitting, and mental health issues including anxiety and depression.
Final thoughts
For parents who never played youth sports the experience can be overwhelming — and confusing — when trying to figure out questions around sport intensity, safety, and participation. As with most things in life, the more you learn the better prepared you are for specific sport issues, including potentially dangerous situations, or conditions that might make your child more vulnerable to sport burnout. Keep things fun, support the team, and help your child use sport particiaption as a vehicle for future life success.
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