Countless former elite-level athletes and sport scientists have offered their expert opinions on the best ways to participate in youth sports, and while these recommendations are invaluable, many parents seemingly overlook or dismiss the advice. As we continue to push kids to specialize in one sport, play sports year-round with few (if any) breaks, travel to different parts of the country to compete, and pay “expert” coaches astronomical fees to teach our kids a sport, we should revisit whether this approach mirrors what top athletes and scientists have to say. With serious injuries and mental health issues like sport burnout on the rise, this is an important time to audit how your family interfaces with youth sports, and if any important changes should be discussed.
What the experts suggest
Talk to a former athlete or expert in sport science and you will quickly learn that a lot of what is going on in youth sports today directly contradicts what they feel are optimal ways to enhance the youth sport experience. No, you won’t hear experts say to continuously sign your kid up for every elite, travel ball experience; nor will you hear experts tell you to keep stats on his or her games, or try to play several sports concurrently to the point where your kid is burned out. Ironically, the best advice is regularly offered by people who played at a high level and have studied sports for years, yet often that advice does not confirm what parents want to hear, and consequently it gets discarded. Below are examples of tips commonly provided by those who know the ropes of youth sports and that every sports parent should consider:
- Keep it FUN! The #1 reason kids play sports is to have fun, but too often these days we make what would be a fun experience into something far more serious and more resembling a job for kids. If your child isn’t excited to play, or regularly needs a lot of encouragement to go to the field, you might be going a bit hard and in need of a change in approach.
- Don’t specialize, but instead play multiple sports. The results are in, and sport specialization is something almost every former athlete and sport expert rejects. Sport specialization does not allow kids to sample a variety of sports, meet new friends, or vary routines, but instead leaves kids vulnerable to overworked muscles and sport fatigue and burnout.
- Steer clear of getting too serious, too soon. Starting serious sport competition by means of travel ball and similar endeavors can quickly turn what would have been a fun experience for your child into a serious, job-like experience instead. When sports become more work then fun, kids quickly begin to tune out, and eventually quit sports a lot sooner than they would have had they played in a better suited league.
- Take breaks. Taking a few days off every 6 months is not nearly enough, as kids need to not only rest their bodies, but also re-charge their emotions to avoid sport staleness and burnout.
- Work out your own unfinished business. Some parents do live vicariously through their kids, and this most often occurs with parents who have their own unmet sport dreams. Take a long look at how you are raising your kids involved in sports, and see if you might be expecting them to do what may have fallen short for you.
- Teach athletic transferable skills. While we often talk generally about how much kids learn while playing sports, it is important for parents to both identify and suggest how specific sport skills can be used in other aspects of life. For example, when your child focuses to improve a sport skill, that same mindset can be applied for better focus in school. Similarly, if your child learns ways to handle pressure in sports, he or she can parlay that same approach to overcoming the fear of speaking, or other socially anxious situations.
As you can see from the advice above, pushing your kid to the limit, signing him or her up for every serious sport opportunity, and overlooking the real life lessons learned through sports are approaches the experts suggest to avoid, but how often do we witness those very exact things occurring? Sadly, many of the mental health issues kids experience today flow from their super-intense sport experiences, leaving them depressed, anxious, confused, and sometimes hopeless when they feel that their parents simply are not paying attention to their feelings and desires.
Final thoughts
Just because it seems like everybody is doing it doesn’t always make it right. We teach our kids this message, but are we applying that approach to how we experience youth sports today? How often do you think of fun as your primary goal each time you go to the park? Or is it all about getting the right coaching, the right league, the right online profile, and the right statistics? Listen to the experts! With only about a 5% success rate of high school student advancing to college sports, it might be a good time to re-calibrate how your family uses sports — as a means to an end, or as an invaluable, fun life experience? Remember, many mental health issues that kids experience stem from trying to fit in, make friends, and enjoy life activities (like sports!) — lets do our part to help!
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