Write your search in the input below and press enter.
Esc to close.

The Sports Doc Chalk Talk with Dr. Chris Stankovich

Peak Performance:
Not Just for Sports, for Life

  • Products
    • Toolkits
    • Audio
    • Videos
    • Books
    • Apps
  • Services
  • Chalk Talk
    • Recent
    • Athletes
    • Coaching
    • Sports Parenting
    • Sports Administrators
    • Life
    • Administrators
  • About Dr. Stankovich
  • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Products
    • Toolkits
    • Audio
    • Books
    • Videos
    • Apps
  • Services
  • Chalk Talk
  • About Dr. Stankovich
  • Testimonials
  • Contact

Hello. Sign In

My Account
  • Login
  • Register
0
The Sports Doc Chalk Talk
Subscribe
The Sports Doc Chalk Talk with Dr. Chris Stankovich
  • Recent
  • Athletes
  • Coaching
  • Sports Parenting
  • Life
  • Administrators
Home / Blog / Sports Parenting Should Never Include Shame, Embarrassment

Sports Parenting Should Never Include Shame, Embarrassment

By: Dr. Chris Stankovich | @DrStankovich | Sep 27, 2016

No Comments

It is not uncommon for sport parents sitting in the stands to feel every emotion under the sun while watching their child compete.  It’s also understandable to “coach” from the stands, feel pride when good things happen, and experience frustration and sadness when things don’t go so well.  But what should never be acceptable, however, is shaming or embarrassing kids who make mistakes or fail to live up to parental expectations.

Vicariously living through your kid

We have all heard about, or even witnessed firsthand, parents who live out their own unfinished sports business through their child.  In these examples the parent hopes to accomplish through their son or daughter a level of sport proficiency and success that they never experienced.  Often the parent’s wishes for the child’s future development come from a good place in that they simply want their child to play to his or her best ability.  The challenge in accomplishing this, however, is that the parent must learn to handle his or her own frustrations and stress when the child fails to play well.  Sadly, when parents are unable to keep emotions in check, kids are often the recipients of various comments, criticisms, and sometimes even threats to commit to playing at a higher level in the future.

In the ideal situation parents support, encourage, and unconditionally accept their child’s level of sport success.  Positive parenting also means not comparing your child’s sport abilities to yours, or pushing your child to exceed the level of success you had as a child.

The results of negative parenting

When parents push too hard to the point of embarrassing their child through words and/or behaviors from the stands, many psychological issues can arise.  Kids who feel as though they can never please their parents are more likely to prematurely quit the sport, self-sabotage in order to be removed from the team, or deal with much bigger issues like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, or even self-harm.  In fact, in worst-case scenarios parents become so tough on their kid that they become oblivious to the signs of stress their child is showing, often resulting in even more pressure to succeed.

Tips for positive parenting

  • Commit to being a positive parent and never allow yourself to embarrass your child because of mistakes made on the field.
  • Remember, studies regularly show the #1 reason why kids play sports is to have fun — ask yourself, have you created a sport environment that is fun for your child?
  • If you feel you are pushing too hard, your intuition is likely telling you something.
  • When offering instruction to your child, try the sandwich approach by starting with a compliment and positive reinforcement, offering constructive feedback/teaching, then ending with more positive reinforcement.
  • Seek help if needed.  Sport psychologists can play an important role in both helping parents temper expectations, as well as providing stress relief for kids who struggle with pleasing their parents.

www.drstankovich.com

 

Coaching, parenting, psychology, sport

  • Author
  • Comments
  • Details
Get to Know the Author

Dr. Chris Stankovich

Dr. Stankovich has written/co-written five books, including Positive Transitions for Student Athletes, The ParentsPlaybook, Mind of Steel.

Dr. Chris Stankovich

Latest Blog Posts

  • March 1, 2021 Important Team Building Success Tips for Coaches
  • February 16, 2021 Help Kids Overcome Pandemic Anxiety as they Head Back to School
  • February 10, 2021 Is Mark Cuban’s Remedy for National Anthem Protests the Right Move?
  • February 4, 2021 Former NFL Star Warns of Potential Problems Dealing with Sport Retirement
  • February 1, 2021 Lacking Social Interaction is Hitting Kids Hard through Pandemic

Comments are closed.

PREVIOUS POST

Tips for Parents to Help their Kids Pick the Right Sport

NEXT POST

Learn the Secrets for a Happy, Healthy, & Productive Life

Category

Amateur , Athletes , Athletic Counseling , Coaching , Communicating with Coach , Cuts , Girls Sports , Parent Training , Performance Enhancement , Playing Time , Prep , Quitting , Sport Psychology , Sports Culture and Society , Sports Leadership , Sports Parenting , Sports Performance Science , Sports Safety , Training and Development , Youth and Interscholastic Sports , Youth Sport Burnout , Youth Sports

Tags

Coaching, parenting, psychology, sport

  • Recent Posts
  • Most Read
  • Important Team Building Success Tips for Coaches
  • Help Kids Overcome Pandemic Anxiety as they Head Back to School
  • Is Mark Cuban's Remedy for National Anthem Protests the Right Move?
  • Former NFL Star Warns of Potential Problems Dealing with Sport Retirement
  • Lacking Social Interaction is Hitting Kids Hard through Pandemic
  • Parent Sports Pressure Can Leave Kids with Overwhelming Expectations
  • Overcome Adversity by Using this Important Mental Toughness Strategy
  • Challenges Endure for Student Athletes Managing Pandemic Stress & Related Concerns
  • Maximize the Strength of Your Team through Care, Concern, & Compassion
  • Lacking Social Interaction is Hitting Kids Hard through Pandemic
  • The Sports Doc on TV

    Catch Dr. Stankovich’s tv, radio, and print interviews and columns here!

    Dr. Chris Stankovich Watch Videos
  • Sport Performance Assessment

    Dr. Chris Stankovich Quickly and accurately test your level of mental toughness in just a few minutes using the Sport Performance Assessment.

    (SPA), an easy-to-use sport psychology system specially designed to help you REACH YOUR FULL ATHLETIC POTENTIAL.

    learn more
  • SportsSuccess360

    Life strategies for performance and character development for coaches, parents, and student athletes competing in youth and interscholastic sports.

    Life Strategies learn more
  • Contact Dr. Stankovich

    1395 Grandview Avenue Suite 6, Columbus OH 43212

    (614) 561-4482
    Media & General Inquiries
    information@drstankovich.com
    Sales & Product Support
    sales@drstankovich.com
  • About Dr. Stankovich

    • Media
    • Blog
    • Testimonials
  • Products

    • Toolkits
    • Videos
    • Books
    • Audio
    • iPhone Apps
  • Services

    • Athlete Performance Training
    • Parent Community Forum
    • Coach Education & Development
    • Athletic Crisis Response and Intervention
    • Drug & Alcohol Assessment
    • Life Success Programs
    • Counseling & Consulting Services
  • Blog
  • YouTube
  • twitter
  • facebook

All rights reserved © 2021 Advanced Human Performance Systems™

↓ ↓