Often when I meet parents at my practice they tell me about the frustrations they deal with as a result of their child’s involvement in youth sports. From these conversations, I have noticed that a cluster of fairly predictable patterns and experiences occur, often leaving parents upset at the coach, school/league officials, and even other parents. While there will always be unpredictable events and circumstances sports parents will face, there are also a number of things to prepare for in order to prevent bigger problems from occurring. When parents are satisfied with the youth sport experience, they in turn become better leaders and role models to their kids, providing for the best opportunities for holistic growth and development both on and off the field.
The most common problems sports parents experience
The #1 issue I hear parents complain about should come as no surprise — kids playing time. Other concerns parents raise to me include whether their child should specialize in one sport, play multiple sports during the same season, and how to weigh the effectiveness and safety of the countless products and training techniques designed to help kids more effectively compete in their sport. Additionally, some parents deal with problems relating to sports injuries (and appropriate treatments), and the loneliness and depression their kids experience upon sport retirement. Regardless of the specific issues you deal with, I do have a short list of the most common reasons why sports parents experience stress and frustration:
- Unaware of how much has changed since they played. Sport specialization, travel leagues, and year-round competition are just three of the more noticeable changes in youth sports today compared to a generation ago. Youth sports are more serious, and more kids today become burned out from sports. Parents who fall behind the learning curve leave themselves susceptible to experience more stress.
- “Follow the leader” rather than make unique family decisions. Many sports parents today sign their kid up for competitive travel leagues not because their kid is athletically talented, but instead because most of his friends play travel sports. When parents simply “go with the flow” without stopping to evaluate their child’s unique interests, they leave themselves open to experiencing more stress and frustration.
- Don’t allow the coach to coach. While it’s easy to understand why some parents second-guess the coach, those who regularly try to “coach the coach” often find that it rarely enhances to parent-coach relationship, much less adds to the quality of instruction to the kids on the team. Instead, parents will generally find it to be a better move to only coach when asked, thereby allowing the coach to do what he or she is assigned to do.
- Don’t actively participate with the team. Parents who choose not to attend games, help with booster efforts, or participate in other important ways often find themselves behind when it comes to important communication and relationship building with other parents. Stay involved as much as possible, and you’ll increase the chances for a smooth and successful experience.
- Have unrealistic expectations. Parents who don’t realize how difficult it is for kids to one day play college and pro sports often allow their unrealistic expectations to cause additional stress. Remember, the #1 reason kids play sports is to have fun, not to become a pro athlete.
Final thoughts
There’s a lot going on with youth sports today, and at times the experience can feel overwhelming to parents. While not every stressor can be avoided, many issues can be handled in healthy and effective ways by simply being open-minded and involved. Prepare for the most likely issues to occur, and by doing so you’ll be able to spend more time on watching your child grow and develop through sports.
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