Write your search in the input below and press enter.
Esc to close.

The Sports Doc Chalk Talk with Dr. Chris Stankovich

Peak Performance:
Not Just for Sports, for Life

  • Products
    • Toolkits
    • Audio
    • Videos
    • Books
    • Apps
  • Services
  • Chalk Talk
    • Recent
    • Athletes
    • Coaching
    • Sports Parenting
    • Sports Administrators
    • Life
    • Administrators
  • About Dr. Stankovich
  • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Products
    • Toolkits
    • Audio
    • Books
    • Videos
    • Apps
  • Services
  • Chalk Talk
  • About Dr. Stankovich
  • Testimonials
  • Contact

Hello. Sign In

My Account
  • Login
  • Register
0
The Sports Doc Chalk Talk
Subscribe
The Sports Doc Chalk Talk with Dr. Chris Stankovich
  • Recent
  • Athletes
  • Coaching
  • Sports Parenting
  • Life
  • Administrators
Home / Blog / Tips for Coaches to Help Parents Living Vicariously through their Kids

Tips for Coaches to Help Parents Living Vicariously through their Kids

By: Dr. Chris Stankovich | @DrStankovich | Jun 29, 2016

No Comments

While most parents do a fantastic job helping their kids grow and succeed in sports, there are some who vicariously live their dreams through their child, resulting in a difficult situation for coaches, other parents, teammates, and most importantly, the child.  Parents with a lot of “unfinished business” (the term commonly used in the sport psychology literature) tend to be the most at-risk for trying to capture their own previous dreams, and the symptoms of their frustrations often result in pushing their kids too hard, being too demanding with expectations, not allowing much room for error, and regularly chastising their kid for not going above and beyond the competition.

Kids who become victims of the vicarious parent can end up not only playing below their abilities because of the anxiety they experience, but could also be at-risk for unhealthy coping that may include drinking, drug usage, or engaging in other dangerous behaviors.  Fortunately, coaches can help – below are a few tips to consider:

  • Take advantage of your pre-season meeting by having a specific agenda to cover that includes healthy development through sports with tips on exercise and training, nutrition, and emotional development.
  • Talk to parents about the dangers of vicariously living through their children in sports, including how the pressure often works counter-productively when kids are not equipped to handle the anxiety associated with living up to parent expectations.
  • Show parents what it means to be a positive parent from the stands by modeling pro-social behavior — this means reminding them to cheer and be supportive, rather than yelling and humiliating kids from the stands.
  • Help parents understand the realities of kids “making it” in sports, including how only about 2% of all high school student athletes will go on to play college sports.
  • Encourage parents to talk to you if they are struggling with how to be a positive sports parent, and find resources in your community (i.e. a sport psychologist, if possible) to refer to if warranted.

Remember, most parents who push too hard because of their own unmet sports dreams don’t realize they are causing bigger problems for their kids, making it important to help when you see these situations develop.  It’s also important to note that kids are often intimidated to tell their parents they are being pushed too hard, making it that much more important that you try to help parents create a healthier sport climate.

www.drstankovich.com

Improve your mental game by checking out our ebook here or streaming videos here!

anxiety, coach, Coaching, mental, parent, psychology, sport, Stress, youth

  • Author
  • Comments
  • Details
Get to Know the Author

Dr. Chris Stankovich

Dr. Stankovich has written/co-written five books, including Positive Transitions for Student Athletes, The ParentsPlaybook, Mind of Steel.

Dr. Chris Stankovich

Latest Blog Posts

  • February 16, 2021 Help Kids Overcome Pandemic Anxiety as they Head Back to School
  • February 10, 2021 Is Mark Cuban’s Remedy for National Anthem Protests the Right Move?
  • February 4, 2021 Former NFL Star Warns of Potential Problems Dealing with Sport Retirement
  • February 1, 2021 Lacking Social Interaction is Hitting Kids Hard through Pandemic
  • December 22, 2020 Parent Sports Pressure Can Leave Kids with Overwhelming Expectations

Comments are closed.

PREVIOUS POST

Play Your Best: Lock into the ZONE for Athletic Success

NEXT POST

The Athlete’s Mind: FOCUS

Category

Amateur , Athletes , Athletic Counseling , Boys Sports , Coaching , Communicating with Coach , Fan Behavior , Girls Sports , League Operator , Mental Toughness , Parent Training , Prep , Sport Philosophy , Sport Psychology , Sport Sociology , Sports Culture and Society , Sports Leadership , Sports Parenting , Sports Performance Science , Sports Safety , Team Building , Training and Development , Uncategorized , Youth and Interscholastic Sports , Youth Sport Burnout , Youth Sports

Tags

anxiety, coach, Coaching, mental, parent, psychology, sport, Stress, youth

  • Recent Posts
  • Most Read
  • Help Kids Overcome Pandemic Anxiety as they Head Back to School
  • Is Mark Cuban's Remedy for National Anthem Protests the Right Move?
  • Former NFL Star Warns of Potential Problems Dealing with Sport Retirement
  • Lacking Social Interaction is Hitting Kids Hard through Pandemic
  • Parent Sports Pressure Can Leave Kids with Overwhelming Expectations
  • Parent Sports Pressure Can Leave Kids with Overwhelming Expectations
  • Success is Achieved by Striving for Excellence, Not Perfection
  • Overcome Adversity by Using this Important Mental Toughness Strategy
  • Challenges Endure for Student Athletes Managing Pandemic Stress & Related Concerns
  • Maximize the Strength of Your Team through Care, Concern, & Compassion
  • The Sports Doc on TV

    Catch Dr. Stankovich’s tv, radio, and print interviews and columns here!

    Dr. Chris Stankovich Watch Videos
  • Sport Performance Assessment

    Dr. Chris Stankovich Quickly and accurately test your level of mental toughness in just a few minutes using the Sport Performance Assessment.

    (SPA), an easy-to-use sport psychology system specially designed to help you REACH YOUR FULL ATHLETIC POTENTIAL.

    learn more
  • SportsSuccess360

    Life strategies for performance and character development for coaches, parents, and student athletes competing in youth and interscholastic sports.

    Life Strategies learn more
  • Contact Dr. Stankovich

    1395 Grandview Avenue Suite 6, Columbus OH 43212

    (614) 561-4482
    Media & General Inquiries
    information@drstankovich.com
    Sales & Product Support
    sales@drstankovich.com
  • About Dr. Stankovich

    • Media
    • Blog
    • Testimonials
  • Products

    • Toolkits
    • Videos
    • Books
    • Audio
    • iPhone Apps
  • Services

    • Athlete Performance Training
    • Parent Community Forum
    • Coach Education & Development
    • Athletic Crisis Response and Intervention
    • Drug & Alcohol Assessment
    • Life Success Programs
    • Counseling & Consulting Services
  • Blog
  • YouTube
  • twitter
  • facebook

All rights reserved © 2021 Advanced Human Performance Systems™

↓ ↓