Increasingly more parents today quickly and haphazardly attribute every problem, issue, confusion, loss of focus, and sports shortcoming on their kid’s “ADHD.” Can’t find his homework — ADHD. Got a question on a test wrong — ADHD. Missed a shot in the basketball game — ADHD. Didn’t get the lead in the school play — ADHD. Do you see the pattern here?! Of all the mental disorders listed today, ADHD is easily the most overused disorder used by parents today to excuse and/or explain all their child’s shortcomings ranging from attention deficits, to things having nothing at all to do with ADHD (i.e. playing his instrument out of tune at a concert).
Labels don’t just describe behavior — they start directing it
Labeling theory is a sociological theory that explains how being labeled can shape a person’s identity and behavior — and this is certainly true with ADHD. Labeling theory posits that people don’t just get labeled — the label starts shaping how they are seen, treated, and how they see themselves. Using ADHD as a mental health example, it is important that parents not use ADHD as the defining reason for every unsuccessful challenge, problem, or issue their child experiences in life — and even more important that the child not immediately glom onto ADHD as the reason why he wasn’t successful. Once a child is regularly labeled ADHD by mom and dad, the following behaviors and outcomes often occur next:
- Adults (parents, teachers, and coaches) interpret behavior through the label, almost as though viewing the child through an ADHD prism. “He’s not off-task, he’s ADHD.”
- Expectations shift toward the child not quite having what it takes to be successful, bringing along lower expectations for focus, discipline, and effort.
- The child sees all of this and internalizes the messaging as “This is just how I am, and my ADHD is preventing me from experiencing success.”
Over time, a label can create the very behavior it was meant to explain, and often this is where kids struggle with self-fulfilling prophecies that limit their chances for success even further. An additional problem when using a label improperly is that it prevents an accurate appraisal, and subsequent helping strategy, from ever getting off the drawing board! In fact, there are many important things that get missed when immediately assuming ADHD is causing all the problems, including:
- Skill deficits. The kid has yet to learn and master the skills relating to how to multi-task, field a ground ball, tune an instrument, or take apart a small engine.
- Motivation issues. Perhaps the kid knows how to do something, but simply isn’t motivated to do what you are asking.
- Emotional factors. Dealing with anxiety and frustration are common obstacles for kids and adults, and not to be confused with ADHD.
- Environmental mismatch. Sometimes kids simply get bored, be it due to a long day, nice weather outside, or poor instruction from the teacher, parent, or coach.
- Behavioral patterns. These are learned habits that become tough to break sometimes, and can get in the way of completing a task successfully (i.e. regularly sitting in a big, comfy chair to do homework but falling asleep instead).
Final thoughts
Labels, while often helpful, can actually lead to unwanted and potentially dangerous outcomes — as in the case of labeling every shortcoming experienced by a kid as a product of his ADHD. Mental health clinicians make diagnoses that produce labels, but they caution parents that not every behavior (or lack thereof) is directly related to the mental health label, and that not every observation should be routed through one, single explanation. Once a label is applied, it becomes easy to explain every behavior through that one lens. Instead of asking why is this happening, we settle for it’s because of the diagnosis. That shortcut might feel helpful — but it often prevents us from actually understanding what the child needs.
drstankovich.com
