When it comes to playing your best, one of the easiest ways to do this is to simply listen to the coach. While this piece of advice might sound like common sense, many of my direct experiences with athletes over the years have centered on conflicts between the player and the coach. When players and coaches clash, the end result in most cases is an athlete left frustrated, angry, and usually stuck to the bench because of his or her disagreements with the coach.
Respect the leader of the team
Whether you like it or not, the coach is the authority figure and responsible for the success of the team. What this means is that you don’t have to always agree with the coach’s ideas and philosophies, but you do need to respect the coach’s leadership and fall in line to what he or she says. Additionally, it is important to accept the coach’s way of running the team, and encourage teammates to do the same.
Teams that emphasize respect develop a solid team foundation, and this allows for greater interpersonal relations among teammates and coaches. Why is this important? When teammates feel that everyone has each others back, they are more likely to experience greater motivation, better focus, and stronger resiliency — qualities commonly found on winning teams with healthy team cohesion and chemistry.
How to resolve conflicts with the coach
As an athlete it is likely that you will sometimes have differing opinions than the coach, and at times may even flat out disagree with the coach’s philosophy and/or directions. In these moments it is perfectly OK to have a different opinion, but you want to handle your differences in pro-social and respectful ways. A few “Do’s and Don’ts” are provided below to help:
Do’s
- Listen closely to the message. Rather than immediately jump to conclusions (that may not be accurate), listen closely to the coach, paraphrase what he or she said, and ask specific questions when things are confusing. Sadly, many coach-player conflicts arise simply because of a miscommunication, and not a philosophical difference.
- Show respect. Even if you completely disagree with the coach, try your best to understand where he or she is coming from, and give the coach’s ideas a fair chance before immediately writing them off. Remember, the coach is trying to do what he or she thinks is right for the team, not purposely sabotage any chance for future success.
- Express your ideas with consideration. Rather than immediately arguing with the coach about why your ideas are better, try and find a good time to peacefully express your idea, as well as how you arrived at your idea. Try showing your appreciation for why the coach came up with his or her idea, then explain how your idea could add to helping the problem. Also, be sure to thank the coach for hearing you out – even if the coach doesn’t change his or her mind.
Don’ts
- Make it personal. In many of the cases I have worked on the #1 reason why a player resists a coach’s idea ends up being the player took the advice personally, rather than simply a coach trying to make a player better. A coach’s job is to objectively evaluate and teach, but in some cases athletes lose sight of this and instead falsely assume the coach is playing “politics,” or in some way trying to hurt the athlete.
- Resist and cause team turmoil. When you resist the coach’s instructions it not only impacts the unique dynamic you have individually with the coach, but other team members are also affected as well. In fact, disgruntled players can quickly sour the overall team climate, leading to less effort put out by all team members, resulting in less success on the field.
- Quit before giving the idea a FAIR chance. Accept the coach and his or her feedback, and then make sure to prevent yourself from “going through the motions” and instead give the idea a fair chance to succeed. Remember, good ideas (be it from the coach or anyone else) have virtually no chance for success when we give no effort to the idea.
Final thoughts
Coaches aren’t always right, and in some cases they can be dead-wrong on issues. Still, coaches are responsible for running teams the best they know how, and when dealing with players they will always be at-risk for questionable, subjective decisions that aren’t always popular. Great athletes spend less time criticizing their coach, and more time trying to make the coach’s ideas come to life through their commitment and dedication to team success.
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