Working in sports, I often hear stories about “out of control” sports parents — in fact, I have even seen a few as clients over the years (The Parents Playbook). Usually what I hear are stories about parents yelling obscenities from the stands, with the occasional push/shove incident that (thankfully) ends quickly and before any physical harm occurs. Bad stories, yes; but they hardly compare to the attack that took place in Massachusetts last Friday — a melee so violent it left behind beat up coach with a chunk of his ear bitten off. Timothy Lee Forbes has been charged with beating up the winning coach, and biting part of his ear off — all this over a game.
Unfortunately this is not the worst story I have ever heard – the tragic “hockey dad fight” that resulted in a man being killed over a youth hockey game in 2000 is my watershed moment for when sports hit rock-bottom. I remember thinking back then about what youth sports were becoming, and the fears I had that a new threshold had been established pertaining to sports anger. Since then, aggression at youth sporting events has become so normalized that we hardly react to many of the ugly stories we hear.
When I played youth sports in the 1970’s and 80’s, the worst thing I ever witnessed was an occasional rude remark from the crowd (generally over an obvious blown call by the referee), or a momentarily angry coach who might grumble a profanity under his breath. I never saw a fight, and I can’t remember even seeing an argument that looked like it might turn into a fight. Sports were fun and people seemed to “get it,” as evidenced by their appropriate fan etiquette.
Sadly, it seems we have become desensitized to youth sport aggression these days. Similar to how school shootings rarely make the front page of the news, neither does the violence in youth sports that results in serious injury, and sometimes even death.
Sport psychologists often help athletes with developing mental toughness, but perhaps the bigger task is to recalibrate the climate at youth sports so that violence will not be tolerated by administrators, coaches, parents, or players. The recent fight that occurred in Springfield should serve as a reminder of how far out of whack things have gotten over the years, and inspire us to prevent aggression and violence at youth sports games in the future.
Help create a positive and safe culture in your league with Sport Success 360!
www.drstankovich.com
