I work with athletes every day, and one of the most common subjects we discuss relates to the pressure and expectations athletes place on themselves, as well as those imposed on them by others. Win the championship. Make the all star team. Earn a D-1 athletic scholarship. Even for young athletes today, the pressure thrown on them to succeed is greater than ever before, and expectations of success are super high. As a result, many athletes get caught up in this performance loop of ever increasing expectations — perform well, then receive even greater expectations and pressure. At times it can be overwhelming, leaving athletes (including kids) to deal with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. So much is placed on athletes that it can be difficult to re-focus away from expectations, and toward the qualities in you that lead to success. So how do successful athletes respond when so much is asked and expected of them?
It’s not what’s expected of you, but what’s in you….
For athletes today to succeed, they must accept that pressure and expectations not only loom, but must be dealt with as issues arise. Athletes can’t control the narrative by silencing the expectations and pressures of others, but they can successfully respond to the challenges by digging deep from what’s inside — relying on focus, perseverance, heartiness, and resiliency. In other words, rather than focusing on all the noise, turn your attention toward all the skills and abilities you have to overcome the hurdles you face. In life, it’s not what’s on you in terms of expectations, but instead what’s in you with respect to your will and fortitude.
Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled, began his book with a simple 3-word sentence: Life is difficult. For athletes these days, young and old, sports are difficult — and often include intense pressure and great expectations. Every athlete, therefore, has a choice to either falter to challenging conditions, or look inside and find the courage, confidence, and conviction to overcome adversity and play at a high level. The choice to look outward at the noise, or inward at your personal courage and resiliency, is an important choice that only you can make — so choose wisely!
Sports today, including youth and interscholastic sports, are more serious and intense than ever before. When kids learn important life skills relating to how they perceive situations (challenges or threats?), where they direct their focus, and how they execute skills and strategies to succeed, the outcomes they experience are far different compared to if they simply quit the moment things got tough. When kids learn these skills in sports, they can then apply them to other life situations, including academic and social challenges. From there, as confidence increases, new goals are taken on and hurdles overcome — all because of first relying on what’s inside, not the noise and static on the outside.
Final thoughts
Sports can be a tough life experience, especially when expectations are super high and seemingly everyone around you pressures you to be your best. For kids, this can be especially challenging since they have yet to learn the importance of life skills, and how to cull mental toughness from within to overcome the hurdles in front of them. Yes, it truly is “what’s in you,” not what’s “on you” in terms of pressure. Re-frame the outside noise into healthy life challenges, identify life skills to overcome, and learn how to apply focus, motivation, and coping strategies to overcome whatever stress you face in life.
drstankovich.com
