I just completed reading an interesting article on coaches and their level of aggressiveness toward kids who play for them on a team. After reading the piece I began to think about the debates I have been a part of over the years — some sport fans think coaches need to be volatile, aggressive, and “in your face” in order to win over their players and help the team reach it’s full potential. The standard names that come up when thinking about this “old school” type of coach include, of course, Bobby Knight and Woody Hayes.Other sport fans think that a more “civil” and toned-down approach to coaching is the way to go – this is not to suggest that the environment be so peaceful and nice that it resembles a church more than it does an athletic team, but instead points to the notion that you can have a relatively tranquil sport environment, and still win games.I have to admit I am more on the side of the second argument, even though I am sure there are others that will disagree, and politely remind me we are talking about sports, not a child daycare! I get it, I really do, yet I have always believed that you can get just as much, if not more, out of people by building relationships, earning their trust, and praising them for their efforts (even if they fail). I have personally never felt as though yelling and berating someone would help me more than having an honest, frank conversation; and I never believe physical aggression should be used to make a point or to get someones attention (sorry Bobby Knight, I am not down with the choke hold).So am I saying my theory is “right?” No, far from it – telling someone how to coach is like telling them how to parent – and it is certainly not my place to tell someone what to do. In my personal experiences, however, I have found the “win more bees with honey than you do vinegar” approach to be a winner — but it is also hard to argue that the “old school” intimidating coaches don’t get positive results with their approach, too. The big question to me is not what approach works better as it applies to wins and losses, but instead, what is the cost that comes with an approach that includes bullying, intimidation, and sometimes even physical aggression?One last note: It’s always been interesting to me how much parents, fans, and even the players themselves will take — so long as the team is winning. Lets face it, the bully-type coach doesn’t last very long if he (or she) isn’t winning, but if a team is winning then a lot goes unnoticed and over-looked. Interesting, huh?!www.drstankovich.com
