So how do you motivate the unmotivated kid? As you might guess, there is no magic formula for achieving this goal, as kids devleop through various life stages, experience different daily tasks, and have varied personal interests. Still, we can borrow from psychology and what we know about positive mental health to better understand ideas and strategies that help kids get away from swiping away on their phone, and more invested in other more prosperous life endeavors.
Motivation tips
Getting kids excited about doing new things can be challenging, but it is very worthwhile if you are trying to help your child holistically develop, and experience positive mental health. While some kids find their intrinsic motivation naturally, many others struggle to find what excites them — that is, until they are exposed to new ideas and things. Rather than allow your kids to rot away wasting time on Tik Tok shorts, try to instead have ongoing conversations designed to uncover what excites your kids! As you learn about what motivates your child, try to find activities that match his or her interests, and possibly even connect the dots to a future career.
Below are a few ideas to help get in synchrony with your child, and increase your child’s intrinsic motivation as a result.
- Use active listening. Create a comfortable setting and ask open-ended questions to gain better insights relating to your child’s interests. Ask for clarity for things that are unclear, and paraphrase back what you heard to ensure you are getting the message right.
- Empower your child (give him or her a voice!). By simply asking your child to talk (and listening unconditionally), you will be empowering your child to exercise his or her voice! When kids feel good, they are much more likely to increase their motivation, as well as their resiliency.
- Make it fun! Oftentimes in life we fall into patterns, and some patterns can turn into ruts. When you talk with your child smile, laugh, and have fun! Finding motivation does not need to be a painful, laborious task, but can instead be the missing piece needed for happiness and improving self-worth.
- Offer your unconditional help. Make sure that when it comes to your child’s happiness, that you are there anytime, anyplace. While this is usually assumed by kids, it is important to be emphatic and overt with your help, thereby allowing your child to know that he or she is never alone without support.
- Set realistic goals. When finding motivation, sometimes simply sitting through a class awake is the first realistic goal! It is important to start small, enjoy victories, and use the success to propel future success.
- Support as much as possible. Offer support through both your verbal praise, as well as your actions (i.e. rewards when goals are met).
While extrinsic motivation works specifically because of tangible rewards, intrinsic motivation moves kids to action because of the inherent interest in the goal or task. Some kids find their intrinsic motivation naturally, while others learn what makes them unique through discussion and support from parents, teachers, and friends. Be patient, supportive, and encouraging as you learn what makes your child unique and motivates him or her to shake off lethargy and do his or her best.
Final thoughts
Finding your passion and purpose in life is no easy task, and for kids it can be especially daunting. Our intrinsic motivation increases dramatically as we learn more about what makes us tick, and parents can be a tremendous help to kids as they learn more about their unique interests. If you see that your child is often bored and lethargic, it may be time to step up and actively engage in conversation around his or her interests.
drstankovich.com
