Would kids rather sit the bench on a really good team, or play a lot on a bad team? For many kids this is a question they (and/or their parents) must answer as they navigate the increasingly complex world of youth sports today. Unlike generations from the past where most kids played in the same leagues with roughly equal teams, today’s youth sports are more stratified with respect to talent and opportunity. What this means is that it is likely that your child could play on a recreation team where he or she plays a lot and is one of the best kids on the team, or your child could latch on with an elite/club/travel team, but he or she barely gets to play. What is more important, playing time or prestige? Are youth sports strictly a stepping stone toward college and pro sports, or instead applied life experiences that help your child with socialization, physical, and mental health?
Decide what is best for your family
As with many things in life, there is no universal right or wrong answer when it comes to the youth sport experiences you should pursue. When considering the question of sitting on a good team, or playing on a bad team, there are questions to consider to help you arrive at a decision that best for you:
- Skill acquisition. In order for kids to get better at sports, they must first learn the basics so that they have a foundation to build from for the future. When kids play on elite teams and do not see much playing time, it could limit or delay building sport skills, whereas a less competitive experience could provide those basics.
- Personality. For some kids, it’s more important to simply be with their friends and part of a team than it is for them to focus on improving their game. In these situations playing time may be less of a factor compared to the social benefits the child experiences as part of the team.
- Motivation. If your child is focused on playing at his or her highest level, then a more nuanced approach might be considered. At first, playing in recreational environments may be the best place to build skills, but then move on to advanced teams where playing time could be a challenge — but the competitive environment continues to keep motivation and efforts high.
- Future goals. Similar to the last point, if the goal is to one day play in college then it makes sense to regularly explore the most challenging youth sport environments to refine skills and gain college coach attention.
- Fun. The #1 reason kids play youth sports is to have fun, so you may want to use that information to make informed choices. Is your child enjoying the current team? Is she playing much? Does she care? Youth sports are not just for kids who eventually want to become pro athletes, as most kids play for reasons other than that including physical benefits, social connection, mental health, and trying new things in life.
Psychologically speaking, playing on a bad team can be fun in that the kid is playing, but also not so fun when games are blowouts. Similarly, kids who are on good teams but don’t play much can still benefit by means of observational learning, and also enjoy the team’s success even if they are only contributing minimally.
Final thoughts
From my own clinical experience I have witnessed more kids that want to play on an average/bad team, versus kids who choose to be on an elite team but rarely play. This is a big decision for families, and one that may warrant repeated conversations until there is consensus on what direction to pursue. From a mental health standpoint, getting this right can be the difference between an amazing life experience, or one that your child dreads. Gather as much as information as you can, examine your child’s unique personality and needs, and revisit your decisions annually to ensure you are pursuing youth sport opportunities in your child’s best interests.
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