While the primary goal of sport competition is to win, experienced youth sport coaches will tell you that there really is such a thing as a “good loss.” In fact, coaches will also tell you there are team wins where the team actually plays poorly, but wins in spite of their subpar effort. The reality is that sometimes you play great and lose the game, and on other days you play a bad game, yet still somehow come away with the win. Today I would like to amplify the importance of coaches working with good losses, as too often we quickly discard those games and miss out on healthy positive reinforcement for things like effort, and teachable moments where a kid’s effort was there, but maybe he or she did not fully understanding an on-field situation. When we immediately gloss over good losses, we miss out on amazing growth opportunities, especially as this applies to coaches building kids up and keeping team chemistry at a premium.
Unpacking a “good loss”
Again, it’s obvious the goal of a game is to win, but what healthy things can be gained from a loss? Breaking losses down even further, some losses really are bad (i.e. the kids don’t hustle or pay attention, and lose the game as a result), but some losses are good in the sense that healthy learning follows. A good loss might be thought of as one step back, but two steps forward, especially if some of the following things occur:
- The kids hustle and stay in the game mentally. If you want to build a winning team then it is imperative to provide positive reinforcement for effort, even if the results lag behind. When kids are praised for hustling, playing hard, and supporting teammates, they will increase motivation and strengthen resiliency for future games.
- The kids keep a great attitude and support one another. It’s not easy staying positive and cheering on teammates when you are losing a game, so when you see kids doing these things it is a great opportunity to reinforce positive team behaviors.
- The kids play with sportsmanship and respect for the opponent. Kids should be acknowledged for playing fair, respecting opponents and officials, and going hard to the very end. Praise kids for keeping negative emotions in check, and showing respect to the game.
- The kids lose because of forces beyond their control. Sometimes kids play a great game but still come up short because of an official’s bad call, or an untimely injury to a key player. Here again there are many great things to positively reinforce, starting with not making excuses, and making it a point to move forward from the experience.
- The kids give you things to build from moving forward. Great coaches know that there are always important moments in a game they can use to build from moving forward, but it takes a dedicated eye and determination to offer spirited praise after games where there did not appear to be much to learn from after a loss.
Final thoughts
Yes, it is often difficult to find good things to praise after a team loss, but it is also in these moments where coaches can build even stronger relations with the kids they coach, thereby increasing team chemistry and culture as a result. When teams lose, sometimes great teachable moments are overlooked or forgotten, but great coaches make it a point to always find a few moments to build from moving forward. While nobody wants to lose in sports, the fact of the matter is there are always losses to work through and overcome, and how coaches process these moments often leads to whether the team will enjoy future success, or more tough luck.
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