Throughout the course of my career I have been fortunate to work with many amazing athletes, and from these experiences I have learned a lot about the variables most associated with the psychology of success. Sure, having genetic advantages never hurts, but most of the great athletes I have known have created their success beyond natural size and speed advantages (if they even have those advantages in the first place). The great ones, in my experience, are specific with their personal goals, tamp down personal fears and insecurities, and decide that failure isn’t an option. But perhaps the most interesting discovery I have made is that it is not the competition that is their ultimate challenge, but instead their own ongoing negative thinking relating to fear, drifting focus, lacking motivation, and challenges to leave yesterday’s loss behind. There is a big takeaway from these findings: It isn’t the competition that holds us back, but more times than not it’s our own thinking.
Success is not “easy”
When working toward happiness, health, and productivity, it is important to accept that these things do not occur passively — or easily. In other words, simply rolling out of bed and expecting life to be amazing isn’t realistic, as an exciting and fulfilled life requires effort. Rather than trying to keep up with others, it is important to isolate and focus on the things that we have under our control and that directly link up to our future success, including:
- Focus. At any given moment you get to decide where to direct your attention, and for how long.
- Motivation. Making the decision to make healthy, positive changes in your life requires that you learn how to get moving and go.
- Decision-making. Life is full of choices, and it is ultimately the choices that we make that direct us to specific consequences — both good and bad.
- Discipline. Success in life depends on how we refrain from the vices that negatively impact our mood and behaviors.
- Resiliency. How well do you bounce back from tough days, losses, and bad luck?
Notice that the variables above all have something in common: They are all under your control. While developing strong focus, motivation, and the other life skills mentioned are not easy tasks, they are possible, and the more effort and attention you put toward them the faster you will see healthy results.
How bad do YOU want it?
Another important discovery I have learned form working with elite-level athletes is that often success comes down to one simple question: How bad do you want it? If the changes you are trying to make are because of others and their hopes for you, we call this extrinsic motivation. This type of motivation is fine and will often get a person going, but intrinsic motivation — or motivation from within — is an even stronger motivation that leads to conviction and a never-say-die attitude. Yes, depending on how bad you want something will determine how long and hard you stay committed to your personal goals.
Final thoughts
It is very normal for people to want to compare themselves against others, but often it is our own thinking, fear, and self-doubt that holds us back from being our best. Try to turn your attention away from the competition and toward the things under your control and you will soon experience an increase in efficiency, confidence, and ultimately personal results.
drstankovich.com
