Bragging is defined as excessively proud and boastful talk about one’s achievements or possessions. A humble brag is a self-promotion wrapped in a complaint, self-deprecation, or faux modesty. While some sport parents regularly brag about their kid to others, many more parents fall victim to the humble brag — often not even aware that they are doing it. Humble-bragging feels disingenuous, triggers insecurities and comparisons, and hijacks conversations — all things that steal from the fun and life lessons that youth sports provide.
The humble brag sports parent
If you have ever been in the company of a sports parent rambling on about how great their son or daughter is in sports, you are not alone. Rather than acknowledging other kids working just as hard, this parent talks exclusively about their kid, rarely asking about yours. This kind of bragging usually takes the form of direct comments (i.e. “My kid is clearly the best kid out there”), or it is less direct, yet still bragging, as in the case of the humble-brag. Below are some examples of humble-bragging and the kinds of comments you may want to steer clear of if you don’t want to turn off others:
- The “We Didn’t Expect This” Brag. “We just signed him up to have fun and suddenly he’s on three travel teams. We’re shocked!” (Translation: My kid is so good, everyone wants him.)
- The “Too Many Accolades” Brag. “It’s been such a whirlwind with all these MVP awards. I wish he’d slow down and be a kid!” (Translation: My kid is dominating.)
- The “Ugh, It’s So Hard Being the Best” Brag. “We’re exhausted—another 4-hour drive to this elite invite-only camp.” (Translation: My kid is so talented he’s getting special opportunities.
- The “I’m Not Saying, I’m Just Saying” Brag. “He played up an age group again. Not sure why the coach keeps asking him to!” (Translation: My kid is advanced beyond his years.)
- The “My Kid Works TOO Hard” Brag. “We told him to take a break, but he keeps waking up at 5am to train on his own. We can’t stop him! (Translation: My kid is self-motivated and relentless.)
- The “Just Sharing This Silly Article” Brag. Shares link: ‘Top 20 12U Pitchers to Watch in Midwest’ — Caption: “No idea how he made this list.” (Translation: Yes you do.)
- The “Awe-Struck Parent” Brag. My kid is “dominating” “awesome” “unstoppable” and “unbelievable!” This parent might rhetorically ask in amazement “Did you just see that?!” when talking about his child. (Translation: I am giving you the words to use when describing my child.)
As you read through the above examples, do you recall ever being on the receiving end of remarks that were similar? Or, have you caught yourself making comments to others that sound like those above? Often braggy parents don’t know they are bragging, and they are even more confused when other sport parents begin avoiding them because of their bragging. So rather than just brag about your kid, what can you do to be a more team-friendly sport parent? Below are a few examples:
- Be proud, but be direct. For example, rather than saying how great your kid is, you might try something like ““He’s excited he made the travel team. It was a goal of his all season.”
- Shift the focus to effort, not glory. Instead of highlighting awards, focus on work ethic, growth, or attitude. An example might be “She’s been practicing free throws every morning, and we’re seeing the improvement.”
- Just be real: “He played really well this weekend. We’re proud.”
- Ask questions about other kids, too. A great way to avoid coming across as boastful is to show genuine interest in other families. Examples include “How’s your son liking the new coach?” and “Your daughter looked sharp out there — has she been training with someone?”
- Celebrate team over individual. Examples here include “The team has come so far this season. I’m impressed with all the boys” and “What a game! These kids are fun to watch when they’re clicking like that.”
- Use private channel for personal pride. If your child wins MVP or crushes it at tryouts, it’s okay to share… but consider the audience. Rather than bragging to anyone around the field that will listen, post in a private family group chat instead of a Facebook group. Remember, telling your spouse that your kid was the best on the field today plays a lot better than telling all the other parents on the sidelines.
Final thoughts
We all love it when we see our kids excel in sports, and there is most definitely a natural urge to want to share your excitement with others. The good news is you can speak favorably about your kid, so long as you use some of the tips above, and make it a point to be equally interested in how other kids are doing whenever talking about the team. Be a supporting parent, not a braggy one, and make it a goal to support the entire team as much as possible!
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