These days we regularly hear the expression that something was “rigged,” rather than take accountability for the results. Sure, we hear this assertion in politics, but it is not limited to politics, as increasingly more people seem to look for any excuse other than their own efforts for why they came up short. For example, just because your child did not get selected for an all star team it does not mean that the process had to have been “rigged,” nor is the hiring process “rigged” every time you come up short being selected for a new job. When we, as adults, immediately resort to the “rigged” excuse every time we fail in life, it not only prevents us from achieving future success, but also sets a poor example for children on how to handle adversity.
Locus of control
In psychology, locus of control is described as the degree to which people believe that they, as opposed to external forces (beyond their influence), have control over the outcome of events in their lives. A person’s “locus” (Latin for “place” or “location”) is identified as internal (a belief that one can control one’s own life) or external (a belief that life is controlled by outside factors which the person can not influence, or that chance controls their lives). Using a real-life example, if you believe you have a direct impact on your mental health, then you would be operating from an internal locus of control. If, however, you feel as though your life is pre-determined, or that you have no bearing on what happens next, then you are working from an external locus of control.
Now think for a moment about the impact of regularly assuming that life is “rigged,” and the impact that mindset has on your perception, focus, thinking, and subsequent behaviors that follow. If you do not think your actions have any impact on the future, why would you even try??
The reality is that we do have a lot of say with what happens in our lives, and that while there are sometimes unfair bias with life experiences, in most cases we get out of life what we put into life. For example, is it “rigged” when you work hard and earn a promotion? When good fortune happens to you it is rarely looked at as rigged, but it is likely a colleague who was overlooked for the promotion may think something was unfair. Saying things are rigged when good fortunate happens to others, but things are fair when good things happen to you, is a faulty way of looking at life filled with cognitive distortion.
If you want to experience an immediate lift in mental health, begin by eliminating the assumption that life is always rigged when things don’t go your way. Instead, accept reality, learn from your failures, and work harder to develop new and different approaches to the challenges you face. Not only is this approach rooted in reality, it also gives you the best chance for future success.
Final thoughts
Pointing fingers at others and directing blame away from yourself rarely leads to good results, and it is also an incredibly skewed way to look at the world. The truth is your actions do have a direct impact on the future, and that taking ownership of your thinking and behaviors will generally lead to your best life results. Conversely, always assuming the game is rigged will only bring down your mental health, and will ultimately lead to less-than-optimal results.
drstankovich.com
