What is the long-term cost when kids forfeit communicating in-person in exchange for texting and other similar virtual communications? When we interact with others in-person, we enhance our emotional intelligence by means of learning active listening skills, reading body language, and attending to signs where a person might be distressed. We can also resolve conflicts when talking face-to-face, learn how to self-regulate emotions, and control our impulsive decisions through the support of friends. But what happens when we barely interact with others, choosing instead to only maintain virtual relationships? Rather than meeting for a coffee, or going over to a friend’s house, a text message is offered instead. Are there inherent problems with reducing previous in-person interactions to simple text emojis and memes? And what is the effect on kids, most of whom have yet to fully develop their emotional intelligence, when they primarily communicate with friends by texting, rather than in person?
Modern ways of communication & mental health
Modern-day technology has made communication incredibly easy, especially when you take into account all the different social media platforms today. In fact, even phone calls are more regularly replaced by texting, AI, bots, and various other ways to communicate. I am sure you have been in the company of somebody by now who has texted with a friend who was close enough to speak to verbally, yet the text was the preferred means of messaging! Yes, we have become lazy when it comes to interacting with one another, and the days of simply sitting together and chatting in-person, in real time, may be a thing of the past. At the same time, we have a heightened awareness of mental health today, including concerns around general wellness and emotional intelligence — could there be a connection here?
When we interact in-person we are afforded countless opportunities to improve our self-esteem and confidence, as we have the benefit of eye contact, reading body language, affirming each other’s thoughts and ideas, and laughing together. Additionally, when talking together we learn how to problem-solve, be creative, display leadership skills, and offer empathy to help a friend through a tough time. But that’s not all! We also learn how to understand someone’s deeper thoughts, when they are tired, and their ideas for the future. And when we talk in-person to friends, we can let them know when we have great news to report, or need help figuring out a problem. All of these experiences help us with human development, thereby providing our best chances for happiness, better health, and human productivity.
We need to ask ourselves what is the long-term consequence, especially for kids, when increasingly more of our human relationships are built through texting instead of meeting in person (or even talking by phone)? When I see kids with flat affect and barely tuned in to their surroundings, I wonder how much of their day is spent looking down at their phone and away from the world around them? And what is the cost to this lifestyle, especially when it goes on for years?
Final thoughts
When it comes to mental health, especially with kids, it might behoove us to examine the ways in which they communicate. When kids stop talking in person and instead spend the bulk of their time texting, they miss out on the life lessons and experiences that come by means of real, in-person interpersonal relationships. Think about how you role model communication, as well as how you encourage your kids to communicate, and help steer them to spend less time on the phone, and more time hanging out with friends in-person.
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