One big criticism I hear about kids today is that they are too “soft,” an expression directed at their perceived fragile psyche and lacking resiliency. Are kids as hardy today as generations previous? Or do they instead struggle with working hard, overcoming adversity, and maintaining a healthy optimism for future success? While it may be difficult to answer the question about kids being “soft” precisely (“soft” is a subjective expression and impossible to measure), we can look at what kids were faced with and experienced in previous generations and note observable differences compared to kids today.
More time spent passively, less direct communication, & less physical activity
As a middle aged person, I have been around long enough to have observed how people my age and older experienced life when they were kids, and I also watch how today’s generation of kids goes about their days. In fact, I see kids at my office daily, providing for an intimate look into how today’s generation of kids live. While a lot of things are still the same, kids today do have more modern-day conveniences by means of smart phones and computer technology to steer their attention away from doing real-life things (like play outside!), so we must take that into account when comparing generations. Does having technology options at every turn lead kids to becoming soft and less resilient?
Drilling deeper, kids today also spend more time in isolation (often passively) when sitting alone on their smart phone or gaming system. With fewer life interactions compared to generations past, there are less opportunities to work hard toward a common goal, or resolve conflicts amongst people. When kids do not have to strengthen their resiliency, an argument can be made that today’s kids may lag behind their parents when it comes to having to problem solve.
Kids today also spend less time being active, and in many instances when they do participate in sports they are not held to the same standards of the past. A kid misses a practice, not a big deal. If a kid screws around at practice, long gone are the days of running a lap. Coaches today more regularly accommodate kids with their multi-sport schedules, rarely holding families accountable for making decisions and fully committing to the team. Do these things make kids less equipped to handle adversity?
So, are kids “softer” today? It is difficult to answer that question since “soft” is an expression used differently, by different people. What we do know, however, is that kids today live a very different life than even their parents, and many of these changes are rooted in artificial experiences — like Tik Tok and video games. Developing human resiliency is incredibly important as it relates to human happiness and success, but when kids experience fewer situations where their resiliency is needed it leaves them less equipped than generations previous.
Final thoughts
Are kids softer today? Kids definitely spend more time tethered to sedentary, isolating technology outlets (i.e. gaming, swiping Tik Tok videos), and less time in the physical company of others and forced to communicate, resolve conflicts, problem solve, and develop leadership skills. Kids are most certainly experiencing a different life today as a result, but does this mean they are softer? Compounding matters, when parents are relaxed and enable their kids with little accountability, it becomes easy to see why critics call out how soft kids are today. What are your thoughts? Are kids today the same as in the past, or is today’s generation of kids markedly different than previous generations?
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